Most women have a birth plan and are focused on that during pregnancy, which is totally understandable. But, the focus on birth leaves little room for planning your postnatal period. Some of the best advice I have to give about this is, try to leave a little space in your mind for a postnatal plan.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
What to consider…
Try to have a think about who’s doing what and when?
What do you normally do that you may need relief from?
If you live with your partner when is s/he going back to work?
When will you see a physio postnatally? If so who?
Can your mum/sister/friend come by every day or two to help you and your partner tie the loose ends? There are many loose ends.
It’s important, at this time, that you and your partner stick together and learn to adjust as a partnership. Just like anything in life, things may not go according to plan but you will be going into parenthood with planned support and ideas.
Pregnancy and motherhood is transformative in so many ways but you can help shape the world with your views because you’re on the front line, raising the next generation. That in itself is pretty liberating.
Some say they see the bigger picture of life and themselves as being part of something greater and some feel completely overwhelmed and wonder “can I really do this?”Don’t worry, the latter feeling is common and quite normal. I’ve looked after hundreds of women and the majority of new mothers doubt themselves and their abilities. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a part of your transition to motherhood.
Motherhood is a place where you can break away from your most limiting or oppressing cultural traditions. You may not have 100% of the answer 100% of the time (no one does) but you can reinvent things as and when you please.
We all have inner wisdom but tapping into it can be hard. Especially when you’ve got unsolicited comments from your mother-in-law, sister or friend. Sometimes the best advice you can take is from yourself, by listening from within. This is when you allow your mumstinct to kick in. If you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, take a breath, have a pause and go with your gut. In midwifery we take “maternal instinct” very seriously. If a woman tells us something isn’t right every medical practitioner I know goes into investigation mode and that’s because we know your body is clever and alerts you mentally. Keep trusting yourself.
You are so much stronger than you think.